fanboygeeks

Reality Zelebrities and their Faustian deal

I have to admit to a fascination with celebrity gossip magazines.  Not all the A-list Hollywood-style gossip, though. I love the British fascination with the damaged nobodies who debase themselves on "reality" TV shows.  I don't read the magazines, but I do love to scan the headlines on the newsagent's shelves each week to see the extent to which people will humiliate themselves for their five-minutes of "fame".

My current fascination is what appears to be the deal that the magazines have with these zelebrities (z-list celebrities: a name I've just made up because I can't bring myself to call them celebrities).  Anyway, it's a Faustian deal that seems to involve the magazine, and the zelebrity and their PR person:

PR Whore: Hello Heat magazine, would you like an exclusive with Chanelle?

Heat Hack: Well, only if it's something about her and Ziggy.

PR Whore: Not really, you see Chanelle's got a great voice and she's trying to launch a pop career.

Heat Hack: (Yawn) Yeah, yeah.  Has she shagged Ziggy yet?

PR Whore: I think that's personal and between them. So, about Chanelle's singing.

Heat Hack: Couldn't give a toss mate. Are Chanelle and Ziggy a couple, 'cause to be honest nobody cares a damn about them if they're not.

PR Whore: Well, they are still in contact.  He's very supportive of her singing career...

Heat Hack: By "supportive" do you mean he's shagging her?

PR Whore: Look, do you want an exclusive with Chanelle or not, because I'm phoning Chat Magazine next?

Heat Hack: Let me put this to you straight.  No-one gives a flying f*ck about Chanelle.  Or Ziggy for that matter.  We're only interested *this week* if they're shagging.  Next week we'll be interested if they split up, on the condition that they get back together again the following week then split up for good the week after. The following week we'll be interested in her anorexia hell brought about by the split and the following week we might be interested in her depression because of the split, but only if she's turned to booze and drugs. The following week we'll have completely lost interest altogether.  We'll only be interested thereafter if she puts on 10 stone then loses it again in an attempt to win Ziggy back, and we'll do a piece about how her diet lost her 5 dress sizes.  Apart from that, and outwith the connection with Ziggy we have absolutely no interest in Chanelle whatsoever.  Got it?

PR Whore: Okay, how about a topless centre spread of Chanelle and Ziggy snogging each other, and an interview in which both of them coyly deny having shagged each other?

And ladies and gentlemen, I think you'll find that's how this week's Heat Magazine came about.

Stu ;-)

Paris Hilton in the media - a line is drawn (UPDATED)

Have you been watching that stupid spoiled whore and pointless oxygen-waster Paris Hilton on the news over the last few days and thought, "by no stretch of the imagination is this news"?  It's bad enought that our celebrity-obsessed media give her airtime at all, but why are our *news* programmes now infected with the adulation of someone who is single-handedly and knowingly leading the sexualisation and dumbing-down of our young women?

Well, at last, a real journalist has taken a stand and has refused to read a Paris Hilton "story" on television.  MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski on the Morning Joe show was visibly annoyed when she was handed a script with Hilton's jail release as the top news story of the morning.  Brzezinski apologised for the story and said that she didn't want to read it but she had to.  Host Joe Scarborough said that was a cop-out and she should take just refuse to do it - which she did by promptly attempting to  burn it, then eventually shredding the script - much the the amusement of her colleagues.

Margaret Thatcher once spoke of "the oxygen of publicity".  Paris Hilton serves no purpose in this world, and the world would seriously be a better place without her.  We all know this.  So, why do the media time and time again broadcast details of her vacuous and pointless existence.

In America, Hilton's pitiful antics are not news.  What is utterly perplexing, though, is that she and the circus surrounding her make it onto the British news agenda.  Her jail release was a top story on BBC TV's flagship 10 O'Clock News.

I salute you Mika Brzeszinski and I hope that your peers are shamed into following your lead.

Stu ;-)

UPDATE - Saturday 1030hrs.

BBC News 24 are now covering this story - as an "and finally" joke item.  They show the moment where Mika tries to burn the script, but we don't get to hear her saying "I just don't believe in covering that story, at least not as the lead story on the newscast, when we have a day like today," she said.  Shame on the BBC.  A very serious point was being made by a fellow journalist that has resonated with millions of people around the world (read these comments BBC).  Mika Brzezinski deserved respect, but the BBC chose to mock her. Even BBC Online have categorised it as an "Entertainment" story.

I'm writing a letter of complaint to the BBC.  I'll let you know their response.

Stu

Irwin legacy continues

Nice, very tasteful...

Bindi Irwin To Continue Career in Television

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin's eight-year-old daughter Bindi Irwin will continue her father's legacy by taking over where his career left off. The animal lover is currently shooting Bindi, The Jungle Girl, a 26-part wildlife documentary show, that is set to debut in January 2007... Bindi gave her first interview since her father's death to Australia's ABC network saying, "I'm trying to get across the message that don't be afraid of animals, they're just put on this earth to help the environment and everything like that." Her late father will appear with her in scenes filmed before his death. Steve's manager John Stainton explains, "We'll never refer to the fact that Steve is no longer with us. The way it works is that Steve plays co-star to Bindi. It's just the little reactions that she gives to her Dad, who's, you know, doing sort of silly stuff." Responding to critics who say Bindi is too young to be in the spotlight so soon after her father's death, Stainton says, "I think they don't understand that this little girl is very much enjoying what she's doing. She is in control."

StuB

Source

Remember Allegra Coleman?

I'm glad that Ali Later is riding high in my current "have high hopes for" TV series Heroes.  I thought she was very good in Final Destination (one of my "guilty pleasure" movie), and she doesn't seem to be one of those attractive actresses with "desperate for fame" written on her face.

However, does anyone remember her under another name?  When Heroes came on and I recognised Ali, I recalled reading on a web site that she started off life as a fictitious person...

In 1996, Esquire Magazine ran a cover feature entitled "Forget Gwyneth, Forget Mira: Here's Hollwood's next Dream Girl", about the new shining star of Hollywood called Allegra Coleman.  Writer Martha Sherrill intended to parody the cult of fawning celebrity profiles, and told matter-of-fact tales of Coleman's upcoming movie with Woody Allen, her on-off relationship with David Schwimmer (and rumoured paparazzi nude photos), and her friendship with Deepak Chopra.

Unknown model Ali Larter, played the part of Allegra, and many people were taken in.  However it mostly backfired with rival magazine editors resenting being the butt of a joke aimed so clearly at them.  Some commentators said that as it was indistinguishable from the normal puff written about celebrities what was the point. David Schwimmer was apparently not amused.

Ali subsequently went on to become a successful actress in her own right, and as for Allegra - well Martha Sherrill went on to have Allegra "star" in a series of novels she wote about Hollywood Celebrity.

So, the question is - if Sherrill's books were to be made into a TV series or a movie: would Ali Later, as Allegra Coleman, play Allegra Coleman...

Stu ;-)